Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Breath of Heaven

Margaret and I have been talking about the song Breath of Heaven for a few days. I realized that I hadn't heard it at all this Christmas season, so I popped open Pandora and in about six songs, on it came. It is a beautiful song and I can appreciate all the thoughts that Mary might have had 'around this time of year' 2,000 years ago. Today, though, what was especially poignant for me was the part that goes:

Breath of Heaven, do You wonder as You watch my face, if a wiser one should have had my place?

Thomas and I ran a million errands today. He decided that during those errands he would ignore every word that I said. Every. Word.  We went to my favorite coffee shop for a 'date', Sam's, Books-A-Million (the ONE in the world that is still open), and Trader Joe's. In every single place, he acted like a madman. I was embarrassed. I was frustrated. I lost my temper. I was ashamed that I  couldn't control my child and that he didn't respond to my commands. In a four-hour period, I doubted my ability to parent my child more times than I can count on all my fingers and toes. I wondered how I could possibly handle adding to our family. Even as I type this, I doubt myself and wonder if I have what it takes. But then I remember my favorite line of Breath of Heaven.

But I offer all that I am, for the mercy of Your plan. Help me be strong. Help me be. Help me.

I went to four places today, all busy with Christmas shoppers and tired employees. Know how many dirty looks I noticed? None. Know how many smiles, sweet comments, and laughs (in a good way) I got? A lot. I'd say at least two at every place. Two at Lucky Goat, but five or six at the other places.

I'm not in this alone and I was not intended to be. I was chosen to be Thomas's mother because it is part of His plan. If I offer all that I am, He'll help me be strong.

Well, God and Xanax.

I'm kidding about the Xanax. I'd have to report that to the Bar Association and that's just too much trouble.

Friday, December 9, 2016

Adventures in Tally - Visit to Apalachicola

Though I didn't blog about the rest of our time in Baton Rouge, I decided that I should skip over those trivial (but fun) happenings and move on to Tallahassee.  Matt and I decided early on that since we had a year to spend IN Florida, we were going to really be IN Florida. Knowing that, when I decided to run a marathon, I picked a run that was in Florida and would be fun to visit. While it wasn't our first Florida road trip (Thanks, Hermine...), it has been the one that required the most amount of preparation so far.  I'll most about our Hermine-getaway soon, but first up, let's talk about Apalachicola. Don't know how to say that word? Try this - apple + latch + ick + cola. Say it fast and pretend that you are playing Mad Gab. Or, you can act like a local and call it Apalach (apple + latch).

We drove down (about two hours) after Thomas woke up from his nap on Friday afternoon and set up camp in a little condo right on the beach. I don't have any pictures of it, but know that it was ideal and most importantly, pet friendly.

Saturday morning, we got up early and took full advantage of having the beach just a short walk out the back door. Giselle got to go too!





After washing off the sand and eating breakfast, we went 'sploring.  We didn't actually stay in Apalachicola but on St. George Island. There is a series of three little towns that all run together. The main area is Apalach, but then there is several mile long bridge that connects Apalach to Eastpoint and then another bridge that connects Eastpoint to St. George.

St. George lighthouse

Playground just outside the lighthouse!

After seeing St. George's sights, we drove into Apalach to see the town. Eastpoint is nice, but is more commercial/industrial. We did stop at the Dollar General to get some nausea medicine. But more about that later. Oh, in the three towns that I mentioned, there are a few stop lights, but not a single Wal-Mart.

The best thing about Apalach? A place called Boss's Oysters. I thought that all oysters were the same. I was wrong. I'll gladly admit it. The chargrilled oysters that we had with lunch were the best I have ever EATEN. Except for the ones that we had for second supper when we went back there later that night. Oh my gracious.

Ice cream! Just a spoonful for Thomas because dairy....


Hoodrat things... 

A sleeping toddler may be the most beautiful sight ever.


These double swings are SO much fun. A little scary for the parent, but so much fun!



Sunday morning came sooner (and yet, later) than I was ready. I had been battling anxiety-nausea for several days and it was certainly no less when I got up on Sunday to prepare for the race. I choked down some Pepto, drank my breakfast shake, and started hydrating.  I did end up tossing my cookies a few times that morning, but it's just part of it. I have a nervous stomach.

The marathon started about 7:00 a.m. eastern. Just like every other major race that I've done, Matt was right there at the starting line. Seriously, in the six years that  I've been "running" he hasn't missed a single major run. That's pretty impressive when you think about how much he dislikes waking before the sun.






There was no course entertainment, but there was this little boy and his sweet daddy who planned and waited and popped up to meet me as often as they could.  I won't tell you about the actual run because it was long and I'm sure you followed me on Instagram. I will tell you about the finish.

You know how people say that there comes a turning point in one's life when that person knows that nothing will ever be the same? Mine came about 2:15 p.m. on October 23, 2016.  After the months of preparation, the back  and forth of anxiety and confidence, the tears and scrapes and burning muscles, I KNEW that my body, my brain, and my heart could handle whatever challenge I faced. When I crossed that finish line after 26.2 miles I was exhausted, sunburnt, and chafed like you wouldn't believe but also I was elated, proud, and secure in my knowledge that there is nothing in this world that I can't overcome.

The past few months have been tough on me and the next few will be tougher still, but I know that I can handle it. And when I start to think I can't, I'll just put on my tennis shoes and go for a run.