24 hours and four finger sticks later...

Yesterday as my first day as a diabetic. It sounds so weird for me to say that or even think that. I am not diabetic. But I am. No matter how I say it or think it, I don't like it.  I'm still holding out hope that the doctor calls me in the next few days and says that I'm fine and can discontinue the finger pricks and food measuring. I know I shouldn't even hope for that, but I do.

Anyway.

My meeting with the nutritionist yesterday was helpful, if discouraging. I can't have any sweets at all for at least two weeks. At the end of two weeks, I have to call her so we can talk about it. I can't have fruit or milk before lunch. Eating whole grains doesn't let me have more and doesn't count as less. The next twelve weeks are going to be less than pleasant. She told me that once the baby is born, I'll likely be able to go back to normal. I'll be wishing away these next 12 weeks like no pregnant woman has ever wished before.

My appointment with the diabetic educator was also helpful in that she taught me to prick my finger to test my blood sugar. She also gave me the "this is all your fault" talk. When I told her how much I exercised before I was pregnant, I could see the judgment in her eyes and on her face. When I told her how much I exercise now, I saw it again. My new routine, because that is what it has to become, is to walk for 30 minutes after breakfast and 30 minutes after supper. Every. Day. Really, because I have time for that. Apparently, had I made time before, I wouldn't be in this mess. She also told me that I was pretty much going to get Type 2 diabetes when I get older. I felt like I was a contestant on Biggest Loser and was meeting with the doctor for the first time. But, the whole time I couldn't help but think that it didn't make sense. Sure, I was overweight before Baby and didn't exercise but 3 or 4 days a week but I wasn't obese or a complete couch potato. I didn't think (and still don't) that I needed a "wake up call."  I just don't understand it.

So now I have to eat three meals and three snacks every day, exercise for an hour, and check my blood sugar four times a day. Today will be my first full day on my new routine. I woke up this morning and all I could think about was that I needed to check my sugar and find out how to get more testing strips and needles. As I ate breakfast this morning, all I felt was sad. I have a baby growing (but maybe too much) inside of me. I should be the happiest person on the planet. But I'm not. I don't like having to constantly think about my food options and what time I can eat something and exactly how many ounces of what types of food I can have. I don't like pricking my fingers. I don't like crying about it but can't seem to stop.

98 days.

There are only 98 days until my due date. Baby Hoffmann will be here in about 98 days. 

98 days.

Can I just say that I'm a little bit terrified? There is so much to do before he gets here!! I still haven't changed the guest room to a nursery. We haven't bought a crib yet. I don't have a baby book (gasp!). I haven't finished Babywise. Not to mention all the things that I just don't know yet. How do I get the um, little boy surgery set up? Why are newborn photographers SO expensive in Baton Rouge? Do I really need to buy all the new mom clothing accessories that the internet tells me I need? What does a contraction even feel like? How do I know how many diapers I need to have on hand those first few weeks? So much that I don't know.

But I do know some things.

I know that I am so excited about seeing what this little boy looks like. I hope he has Matt's nose. But it's okay if he has mine. My nose is my daddy's nose and my nanny's nose. My bump has a legacy. I hope his eyes stay blue. But it's okay if they change. My daddy has brown eyes. Though, if I were to make a little genetic diagram (whatever that sucker is called) odds are that baby H will keep his baby blues. I hope all of his little fingers and little toes are perfect. I hope he has hair. Chances are, it is going to be light brown but I won't mind if it he doesn't have hair. As long as it grows in eventually. I want to know how long he will be. I wonder if his ears are going to be adorable.  I am ready to feel his weight in my arms for the first time and know that he is my personal miracle. I want to see if he responds to my voice right after delivery and if all this talking and reading  to him now has made a connection.

I know that he is going to be the most amazing thing that I have experienced.

I know that he has the whole world in front of him to make a better place.

I know that he is going to move mountains.

I know that all that stuff that I don't know won't matter when he's here. The guest room will become a nursery. The crib will be bought. I will find the perfect baby book. He'll sleep and eat. I'll figure it all out.

I know that 98 days is going to fly by. I just have to hang on and enjoy the ride.

New Years Vacation 2013

I have a confession to make.  I went on a WEEK LONG vacation to a beautiful place and don't have a single picture to show for it. I took a few but they are on Matt's phone and well, he's not here right now.  Instead, I'll just tell you what we did. A thousand words for each picture I should be posting, right? I hope you've got a few minutes.

We left from the New Orleans airport LATE Monday night. Our flight just kept being delayed. Over and over. Something about snow in the east. I didn't get it. We flew to Ft. Lauderdale in soon to be sunny Florida!! Along the way, we experienced the most turbulent flight I think I've ever been on. You know, with my vast flying experience. However, during that awful flight something amazing happened. I finally felt the baby move!!!!!!!!!!! At first I wasn't sure, then I was petrified, but the second time, I knew it was for real. I love that Matt was with me for it. His eyes lit up like I just told him that Giselle was going to meet us in Florida. (She didn't meet us. She stayed home with two of her closest friends and her Morgan.) We landed, got a rental car, and drove through all sorts of Jersey-shore like communities to get to a Wendy's. Baby-Momma was starving. We made it to Matt's auntcle's (aunt + uncle. Margaret and I decided it was okay.) house about 2 in the morning and crashed. As in, we went straight to sleep.

The first full day of vacation began with a boat trip to a preserve to the boys could go scuba diving. I was suppused to go snorkeling, but I didn't feel comfortable in the water so I stayed in the boat and watched. And soaked up the sun... After a few salt-filled hours, we went back to the house and had breakfast. Then, I'm not sure what happened. Seems like I took a nap. It doesn't really matter because I was on vacation! Later that day, the boys went lobster fishing (spoiler alert: they didn't catch any lobster.) and then we played dominoes, apples to apples, and quelf (least favorite game ever).  Oh, oh, I forgot. We also stayed up until midnight and had champagne sparkling grape juice. Seems like a football game was on.

The next day wasn't excellent. I believe I spent most of it in bed. I did go on the boat for awhile to a sandbar. I saw a real LIVE starfish!! There is a picture of that somewhere. I'll get back to you on it.

Thursday involved the boys being gone all day. I think they were lobstering. The girls donned our swimsuits and layed in the sun. I got a little burned in the places that I forgot to put sunscreen, like the tops of my feet. Whitney and I almost got attacked by a pelican but we were able to look mean enough to scare it away. When the boys came back, I went swimming in the Atlantic Ocean!!! I almost fell to my death but managed to survive with nothing more than a concrete burn on my back and some scraped feet.

Friday was Key West. I didn't love it but I wanted to see it and I cetainly did. In all its boozy, high-heeled glory.

Saturday was lazy. Sunday was rainy.

Monday was the end. We got up early and headed into town to hit up the Miami Zoo before our flight out. I, of course, was pretty sick this day too and now can say that I've puked in front of nearly all my relatives. Drew and Whitney, you are welcome. The zoo was excellent. It was hot and I was tired about half-way through, but I managed to make it out in one piece. So worth the price, but only with a coupon. We picked up a stuffed, plush elephant for the baby! I'm certain he will love it. Our flight to Tampa was on time, but from Tampa to New Orleans was delayed. It was okay though because the chairs in Tampa were available and comfortable! And the flight attendent to New Orleans gave me extra pretzels and peanuts.

And there it ended. A marvelous trip. I orginally considered taking my laptop and working while I was there but it is a good thing I decided not to do it. Did I mention, a week without internet. It was glorious.

Things I've learned since becoming pregnant

1. I can handle nausea. It's the vomitting without notice that gets me.

2. Matt's job is actually more gory than I thought.

3. Growing a human really does cause tiredness.

4. I miss chocolate more than I should.

5. Gaining weight because I'm pregnant lowers my self-esteem just as much as gaining weight because I'm lazy.

6. Eating pizza rolls for every meal SHOULD be socially acceptable.

7. I still am not a huge fan of being touched.

8. I don't have the pregnant glow that I expected. Unless the glow comes from my watering eyes as I vomit. But I don't think it does.

9. I haven't shopped for the baby like I thought I would. Other than a huge box of wipes that I bought the day I got a positive pregnancy test (that I've since given away) and a Sophie (for Christmas) I haven't bought anything for the baby. I hope that doesn't mean that I'm going to a cheap mom.

10. I'm not ready for this. At all.

The Christmas Creep

I'm not going to lie. I used to be one of those people that hated thinking about Christmas before Thanksgiving. I didn't not like that Christmas crept up a little earlier each year. HOWEVER. A few years ago I started listening to Christmas music before Thanksgiving, but only when I was in my car by myself. I didn't tell anyone. It was my little secret. Now, I've changed.

I've decided to start celebrating Christmas early. Like now. No, I am not going to put my tree up until after Thanksgiving, but I am listening to Christmas music without guilt. This weekend, I'm going to put my TV on the Hallmark Channel and shamelessly watch Christmas movies. I'm not sure why the urge for Christmas has hit me so soon this year, but it might have to do with not being able to go home for Christmas. This year is going to be different. Next year is going to be WAY different, but I wasn't ready for it to change so soon. I guess that's just part of growing up...

Anyway. Now that I've wiped my eyes and can see through the tears to type, a few of my favorite Christmas songs!! Because I love Christmas AND I love lists.

In no particular order:

Oh Come All Ye Faithful
Oh Come Oh Come Emannuel.
Breath of Heaven
Christmas Offering (totally contemporary but I'm a huge fan.)
Baby, It's Cold Outside (don't judge! It's cute!)
Do You Hear What I Hear
The First Noel
Away In A Manger
Jingle Bells (again, don't judge)
O Holy Night


There, that's the short list. I will just leave it at that so I don't freak you out with my love of Christmas music. Josh Groban may or may not be singing about a little drummer boy from one of my five Christmas Pandora stations right now....

Keep Calm and "insert stupid verb phrase here"

It's been quite some time since I've been so annoyed with something to feel the need to blog about it. However, I've been spending more time on Pinterest these days for some reason and I've about reached my limit on some things. Specifically, the "keep calm" collection of "inspirational" signs.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of the original. I think it was a brillant move by the Brits. I see it and I take a deep breath and keep going. That's what the British government wanted their people to do before WW2. I'm for it.

What I'm not for, is all the deviations. Let me share a few of the ones that annoy me the most.

 

What does this even mean? Following the white rabbit didn't work out too well for Alice so I can't think that's what the makers of this ickiness want me to do.

 

Shopping is the absolute last thing I want to do when I'm frenzied. Shopping? No.

 

How exactly can one "be swag?" I'm pretty sure that one "has swag." I don't get it and I don't like it.

 

I think this one bothers me the most of these four. Get a tattoo? When has that ever solved a problem? Never. It should say "Keep Calm and Think About it Longer."

 

 

Okay, rant over. I just don't like deviations. I need to spend less time on Pinterest. 

Some not so great things about working from home

Awhile back I posted some of the things I love about working from home. Now, here are some things that I don't love about working from home. I know, I have a job, I shouldn't complain, but here it is.

I get lonely. Sure, I email and call work people but it just isn't the same as hanging out around the water cooler talking before the boss gets to work.

I feel guilty when I don't do housework while at home. Matt and I had a big talk when we were discussing our options. I told him that I wasn't going to do housework while I was "at work." Then I started working from home and now I do housework while at work. A load of laundry here, a unloaded dishwasher there, it happens. When it doesn't happen, I feel guilty. Because I'm at home.

I have to give my cell phone number to work people when I leave messages. I'm not a fan. But I do it. Because it's my job.

My chair at home isn't as comfortable as my old chair at work.

Okay, I'm tired of complaining. I just wanted cyberspace to know that there are always downsides to even the best of situations.