28 is the NEW 25!

Daddy likes to make me things as gifts. When he asked me what I wanted for my birthday back in July, I asked him to write Thomas a song and play it on the guitar. In true Daddy fashion, he did just that! Here's a poorly-lit video (the lighting in my parents' house is awful) and the lyrics to help you sing along!

MY NAME IS THOMAS (music - you are my sunshine)

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You never know son, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

My name is Thomas, Thomas Hoffmann

I love my mama and daddy too

We all live on Springstone in

Baton Rouge,   LA

I love my Red Ball, it's so big now

and I love my dog,   Giselle

And I like those things that rattle

Rattle, Rock and Roll

I am counting my numbers

1 2 3 and those A B Cs

I like TECHs colors and

LSU Purple and Gold

I have a Pap and a Ya Ya

A NaNa and an Opa too

You know With them,I get to do

What ever I want to do

Faking it until you make it

I'm a strong believer in the power of positive thinking. Sure, it's hokey. But I'm okay with hokey. One of my favorite mantras is "fake it until you make it." In Thomas's early days, I said it to myself at least once every hour until I got the hang of our new life These days, I only need it on bad days or when I'm in socially uncomfortable situations and need a self-confidence boost.

Believe it or not, I don't roll out of bed every morning with a smile on my face and a singing bluebird on my shoulder. In fact, if there's a bird singing even outside my window, I'm likely to try to blast it with mind bullets. On those mornings, I fake a smile. I fake a good attitude. I go in singing like a bluebird to my little boy like I was woken by angel kisses instead of baby cries or my cotton picking alarm clock. It might take me a couple of hours or it might not happen until the next day, but if I fake it long enough, the smile on my face will become genuine and my mood will improve.

When I'm somewhere that I don't really want to be surrounded by people that I don't really know, I fake it again. I put a smile on my face. I start small talk conversations with strangers. I assert myself fully into the painful awkwardness that 'grinners' create.I fake it until I strike up a conversation with someone that talks back to me and I can relax a little. Or I fake it until it's time to go home. But more often than not, I can fake being extroverted until I convince myself that I am extroverted for the short time period that I need to social.

As I write this I realize that I sound like I'm not being myself. That's not true. It's more like I'm making a little extra effort to be myself until my true self can get with the program. I AM normally smiling and talkative. I do love getting my little boy out of his crib every morning for snuggles. I'm just not always in the best mood when I need to be. When that happens, I fake it until I can make the situation better.

Next time you are having a less than awesome day, try faking it until you can make your day awesome. I bet you'll come to believe in the power of positive thinking too.

Letters for Thomas - B

Guess what! Since my last Letter post, Thomas no longer needs an hour of hand holding to get to sleep! He now naps once a day and that seems to make a huge difference in his night sleeping. He's adjusted to it like a champ and really, so have I! Not to worry, I still already have his alphabet.

On to B!

Brave - I'm not talking red-headed Disney character Brave, I want this little boy to be courageous. I pray that Thomas has the courage it takes to wake up every day and make it better than the day before, to stand up for himself and those that can't stand up for themselves, to speak up but not show out. Bravery and courage seem to be the same, but they aren't. One can't be brave without courage and one can't have courage without being brave. I want Thomas to be equipped with both and use them. Hopefully, he'll use them in a productive manner and not to jump off the roof because he got double-dog dared...

Bold - I don't want Thomas to fade into the background. I want him to stand out because he isn't afraid to put himself on the line. I know that boldness will get him into trouble just as much as bravery, and perhaps for less just reasons, but man, I'll take the bad with the good on this trait. Let's just hope he didn't inherit my amazing ability to be sarcastic and a smart aleck in the worst situations...

A Believer - I want Thomas to believe. To believe in God, himself, his family, the power of hope and prayer, that he has a purpose, and that he can be anything he wants to be. (Ahem, while still being how God made him. Is it too soon for Bruce/Caitlin Jenner references?) What's that saying, "he believed he could, so he did," is that it? That's what I want. I want him to believe that he can do anything and then set out to do it. I also want him to believe in hard work, loyalty, patience, and generosity.

I know that I've got quite high hopes for this little boy of mine. I'm a bit of an overestimator when it comes to what I can accomplish in teaching Thomas. But man, oh man, what if I succeed?

A Trip to the Farmers' Market

One of my favorite things about living in a city is the farmer's market. Shreveport has one. Baton Rouge has one. Mangham does not. One never knows what all one will see or hear or smell at a farmer's market. Baton Rouge's is nice, but Shreveport's is bigger with more variety. Baton Rouge has crepes; Shreveport has gourmet popsicles.  Much earlier in the summer, the boys and I loaded up and headed downtown to BR's market. Last time I was there was in 2013 and I was doing everything I could to keep from tossing my cookies. (Thought that the constant complaints of morning sickness were over, did you? You were wrong. No, I'm not pregnant again. I was scarred by the morning sickness and am a bit gun shy now.) This time was much better in that there was no nausea (and no vomiting!!) and Thomas was with us in person! 

We saw the most beautiful hydrangeas and herbs when we walked through the entrance. I swear, they try to get all your money on beautiful plants before you even get to the food! 

And then the food started! The food! Glorious food! Truly a rainbow of produce. It wasn't Venice, but it was mesmerizing.

I have a slight obsession with honey. I don't love eating honey, but I love having it and tasting it. I love the idea of honey and bees (not actual bees, I don't want to see a bee at all. Ever.). And honeycombs. And cute little bear containers of honey. We picked up some honey with hints of blueberry. I haven't opened it since the day we bought it two months ago. But I love that I have it.

Something we did buy and use was duck eggs. The thought of them kind of grosses me out right this second, but they were really neat. See those blue and white ones? Those are the ducks. They are HUGE. And very yolky. We used most of a dozen before they went bad. It was a one-and-done kind of purchase, but I am glad we gave them a try.

There were also artisans at the farmer's market which makes NO sense to me, but whatev. I doubt we'll be back this summer because it gets hotter than blue blazes before the sun even comes up, but it was fun before the heat came. I'm sure we'll go back before we leave ol' BR, but NOT in August. Gracious alive. 

A party for T-baby!

You know how sometimes the days and weeks just zoom by and all of a sudden, it's August? No? Well, I do. This post is THREE months overdue. I would be embarrassed, but I have too much else to worry about so I'll ignore the embarrassment. 

We had Thomas's FIRST birthday party on May 9, 2015. May 9, 2014 was his actual due date so while that was not a factor in deciding the date, it was a cute little coincidence. I wanted to keep it low key, so we only invited our closest friends and family. Not proximally, but emotionally. 

I LOVE bunting so that was Thomas's theme. I know, kids are all about bunting too. We had smoked brisket sandwiches, mac and cheese, the most delicious fruit dip in the history of time, and CAKE! Social Bites made the cake and Aunt May (Marla's most recent Aunt name) brought it down. Matt and I made Thomas a cake for his first bites of sugar-filled delight. He was confused but was able to figure it out pretty quickly. (Side note: next year's Thomas cake will be a little different.) 

After lunch, Thomas opened his presents. It took some time because he wanted to play with what he opened and ignore the rest. There were no meltdowns or tears. From Thomas or his mommy... It was a great day! 

Ignore my arm here. Oh my. 

Thomas LOVES balloons! 

See my hand there? It was preventing him from diving head first into the candle. He so wanted to... 

CAKE!! And the only messy face picture you will ever see. 

Letters for Thomas - A

I know, I have a lot of catching up to do. Thomas's birthday party, Chicago, the Farmer's Market, the list goes on and on. But I also want to do something else.

I spend a fair amount of time each day trying to help Thomas go to sleep. Sometimes I get frustrated quickly because I have a million other things that I need to be doing rather than singing lullabies to a baby who can sing them to himself. One of the ways that I manage to not thing about work while I am putting T to bed is to think about the alphabet. (Let's just go ahead and acknowledge that I am a dork so we can move on.) It started with me trying to think of a wild animal whose name begins with each letter of the alphabet. For example, A - aardvark, B - boa constrictor. You get the idea. Then I attempted domesticated animals. Then I would put the states in alphabetical order. Then I decided that I would rather think about Thomas while I was putting him to sleep so that I could be "in the moment." Rumors abound that I won't have to wrap him up in a blanket and sway him to and fro forever. Instead of animals or states, I think of three attributes that begin with each letter of the alphabet that I pray that he has. Surprisingly, this takes longer than I ever imagined. I started with A, then thought about all the personal characteristics and traits that begin with that letter. Some stood out immediately, others took some time. (Let me tell you about J....) I actually go through a whole dialogue with myself about which word gets the cut and why. I've been doing this for about a month for two naps and at bedtime. Sometimes I have more time than others (an hour last night... but no time for his afternoon nap yesterday), and some letters are harder. My memory ain't what it used to be, so I decided to put my wishes (my letters) for Thomas here. It's okay if you go back to Kate's blog now, but she's probably talking about her kids too....

Amiable - what! What a lame word to start with, I know. But seriously. I want Thomas to be friendly, to not have preconceived notions of people or cultures. I want him to be and appear to be interested in everyone without prejudice.

Adventurous - I want Thomas to seize every opportunity that comes his way (and make opportunities of his own) to explore this amazing world. I want him to not be held back from anything by fear of the unknown. I am sometimes happy to repeat the same day over and over, I don't want that for him. I want him to crave adventure (within reason - I better not hear about any bungee jumping or skydiving).

Affectionate - No, I don't want a feminine or emotionally needy boy, but I do want Thomas to show affection to those that he loves. Today's society doesn't have quite the same requirements that men be strong and silent, but some of those manly characteristics haven't faded. It's only been in the past 7 or 8 years that my own Daddy would tell me that he loved me or that he was proud of me. I don't want Thomas's children or his wife to ever have to wonder. I want Thomas to be affectionate.

There you go, you can expect 25 more of these posts. No pictures, just words. Not to worry, I'll intermix the fun ones with these. These take less time because I've already done the thinking about don't have to deal with uploading pictures so perhaps I'll post a bit more regularly.

Thomas's birthday week

I've only recently made a big deal of birthdays. Like, in the past couple of years. I try to do something small every day of the week for Matt and so I thought I'd pass that on to Thomas instead of dwelling on the fact that my baby isn't a baby any longer.... I didn't take a picture every day like I had intended BUT we did do something special every day though some days were smaller than others. 

On Monday, Thomas, Matt, and I spent the evening and swung and swung on the swing outside our house. Thomas LOVES the swing and the weather was perfect. 

On Tuesday, Thomas and I went for a walk around the neighborhood early in the morning. You know, before it got smoking hot.

On Wednesday, Thomas's actual birthday, we went swimming! And playing in the neighborhood playground. Thomas tried to swing his alligator but the alligator face planted pretty early one. He loved it. Thomas loved it, not the alligator.

On Thursday, Thomas and I went to the library! He is way too fond of sitting at the base of a bookcase and pulling all the books off so I didn't let him just roam free. We did get one of his favorite books - Llama Llama Red Pajama. 

On Friday, we went golfing with Matt! Well, not exactly. We went to the driving range. I don't think Thomas and I could handle actually golfing with Matt. Thomas isn't one to sit still for long. 

On Saturday, we had Thomas's birthday party!! Details and pictures to come!!