Trivial Pursuits

Lately I've been somewhat obsessed with grooming. I know, it isn't a bad thing for me. I could stand a little bit more girlyness. When I say "obsessed," I should say that I'm obsessed with thinking about it. I haven't actually done anything. My eyebrows could stand some fine-tuning, my face would be better if I wore more than just mascara to work, my hair desperately needs some TLC. But you know what, I've got plans. Next Tuesday I'm getting these not-so-luscious locks put back in their place and getting some brow work done. Even more rare though, I'm going to take myself to the nail salon on Saturday. I've worked hard on leaving my nails (and nail beds) alone these past couple of months so I could look nice and now, it's finally paying off.

Come Saturday I can proudly walk into the nail salon and not getting reprimanded for the shabby state of my cuticules or the actual lack of nails on my fingers. Granted, I probably won't understand half of what my manicurist says to me anyway, but that's beside the point. I understand looks of disgust just fine.

Anyway. I need to decide on a nail color. Normally, I'm a clear, light pink, let's-not-draw-attention-to-my-hands kind of girl. But I'm in the mood for something bold. I've got a wedding to go to Saturday night and I'll most likely wear a navy blue dress. Here's what struck my fancy while I was perusing the world wide web:

I have no interest in nails like these. Pinterest, you can keep them.

I'm leaning towards the gold. I'm not sure why, but man, it's pretty. Though, I'm a fan of the purple and green too. What do you think? Got any other polish suggestions for me and my navy dress?

Turtle slain; Giselle arrested

WARNING!! Gruesome photos to follow. We request that parents escort young children out of range of this broadcast.

There she is, looking all sweet and innocent, snuggling with Turtle. Don't be fooled. She was actually plotting the soft animal's brutal murder.

Just a few hours after this picture was taken, the residents of *42 Wallaby Way woke up to discover that Turtle had been viciously attacked and had perished during the night.

The authorities were called. Poor Turtle was taken away and evidence collected.

Literally, the stuffing had been beaten out of Turtle during an attack of unknown duration. All evidence indicates that Turtle never knew it was coming.

Here's the point of maximum impact. The death blow.

The only suspect, Giselle Hoffmann, has been taken into custody. So far, she's been charged with second-degree murder. Giselle has refused the assistance of counsel and is fully cooperating with the authorities. The people of Wallaby Way are confused and stunned by Giselle's charges, but aren't surprised that she's been arrested for a violent act. It seems that Giselle has a habit of roughing up helpless animals. One person showed us this picture of another recent alleged victim of Giselle's but refused to give the victim's name.

We can only hope that authorities are correct in their belief of Giselle's guilt and the culprit has been apprehended. Now we must wait and watch to see if Turtle will get the justice he deserves.

*Address changed to protect the innocent

Karma

I've never been a Buddist. Or a Nudist. Or any of those other crazy -ists. However, I'm a firm believer in Karma. With a capital 'k.' As in, I think that our actions of yesterday completely effect tomorrow. I may not be on the same level as other Karmanians (I mean, reincarnation, really?), but I think it does play a role. Or perhaps, I just think that our decisions and actions or inactions have consequences. Maybe that's a simpler (and even wrong) interpretation of Karma, but it's what I think. Now that I think on it, the word may not be capitalized. I don't know. And I really don't care.

Anyway.

Yesterday, it started raining. And it rained, and rained, and rained. In fact, it's still raining - but I'll get to that later.

Last night I got in my little car and drove to a friend's apartment for a birthday celebration and a little crafting. Roads were slightly flooded, but let's be serious, ol' Paula can get through anything (Impala = Paula). And she did. After the festivities, I went to get back in my little car and drive home only to realize that one of my tires had gone flat. I know, fun. Well, since it was raining and 9 o'clock at night, I called my knight in shining armor to come and pick me up. I have no interest in trying to change a tire in the pouring rain and dark. No thank you. Matt came to rescue me and even drove me to work today (and will pick me up). I know, he's great. So, back to the flat tire. It happens. Not the end of the world.

Know what is the end of the world?

The death of my ipod.

And having no water.

And that's what happened. Thankfully, my ipod is fine, but remember all that rain and flooding I told you about earlier? Yeah, it caused a water main to burst. Which, in turn, caused the water to my house to be turned off. Bam - end of the world. Maybe just the world on Gilbert Drive, but the world nonetheless.

Two bad things. In less than 24 hours. It's Karma. Unlike Maria, somewhere in my childhood (or mid-adulthood), I must have done something bad. Maybe something mean. I don't know, but I'm not a fan. I wish there was like a karma-confessional or something. Though, right now I'm not sure what I would confess. Wait, there are towels waiting to be folded at my house. And, I did pull Giselle's tail on Monday for no reason. That's what it was. The dog's tail. I should have known when she gave me that awful sad look afterwards that there would be retribution.

Darn.

I'm sorry, Giselle. I didn't mean to hurt you and I won't do it again.

Also, I'll just take the cost of the tire out of your treat allowance. You know, you did cause my tire to go flat, even if it was somewhat indirectly. Take that, Karma.

T minus four days

until our world changes forever.

No, I'm not being overly dramatic or anything. On Friday, we find out where Matt matched with a residency program. On Friday, we'll find out if we are moving, when we are moving, and what Matt will be when he grows up. I'm all kinds of nervous.

I know that he did match (yeah, because not matching is a possibility, too) but we'll find out for sure today.

But we don't know where or in what specialty. We could be anywhere from Shreveport to New Orleans to Charlottesville, VA. No seriously, I think every state along the eastern seaboard is a possibility.

And then there's that little task of me finding a job wherever we go. I know, easy peasy.

I'm not sure if my tummy can handle all this uncertainty.

Hurry up Friday!

Happy birthday Nicholas!!

Today is your THIRTIETH birthday. Thirty. Man, you are OLD. But you know what, you have achieved some remarkable things these past thirty years. Sure, you've had your troubles - some that aren't over yet - but I think you are stronger because of it.

Thank you for being my big brother. I may be biased, but I think you've done a fabulous job. You protected me from all the bad things that went bump in the night when I was a kid - even from the monsters that you made up to scare us. I know now that there is no such thing as a wall rat. But even still, you kept me safe from it. You have shown be the importance of working hard and not being discouraged when things don't go the way I want them to go. And, I am pretty positive that you taught me every swear word that I know. You are currently about two hours away but I have no doubt that if I needed you, you would be here. In an hour and a half. You have made a special mark on everyone that has had the privilege of knowing you and I am honored to be your sister.



I pray that the next thirty years be filled with love, happiness, and success. I know they will be. Next year, you will marry the love of your life. Soon, you'll have that degree and we'll stop pestering you. Then, you'll reach that bar you've set for yourself in your career and be set for life. I know that you will succeed in every aspect of your life as long as keep the same determination and focus that you have now. After all, you and I, dear brother, are the more equal pigs.

As Seen in Shreveport: Mardi Gras Edition

As you know, this was the first Mardi Gras season that I've lived in North LA in three years. Baton Rouge isn't exactly New Orleans, but it seems like BR people get way more excited about MG than Shreveport people do. Though, Shrevers (that's what I just decided to call people who live in Shreveport) get more pumped about MG than those in Northeast Louisiana. Maybe that's just my opinion, but there definitely a difference. For example, Monroe has one MG parade. Shreveport has several. That's really the only difference I can think of right now.

Wait.

I thought of another difference.

This house.

Complete with inflatable jester.

Never before have I seen such a display in NELA. Heck, I don't think I've seen anything similar ever.

You can't see it, but a Lexus lives in this house's driveway. Proof positive that you can't buy class.

P.S. I'm giving up sweets for Lent. Prepare for crabbiness.

P.P.S. Sorry about the spacing. I don't know how to fix it.

Insert creative title here.

Make sure it has something to do with Mardi Gras because this post is Mardi Gras related. In fact, I'll "tag it" that way so everyone knows in case you, the creator of the title, fail to properly identify this post.

Here I sit, in my hotel room in the sprawling metropolis of Metarie, Louisiana, taking a break from preparing to kick part of the Louisiana Bar Exam's be-hinny tomorrow. I know, I had better pass it this time around.

Anyway, I'm not really posting anything of consequence, but I did want to show off my Mardi Gras wreath. After all, for every wreath there is a season. Or maybe that should be "for every season there is a wreath." Whatever.

Back to the point of this non-post.

This fabulous decorative piece was hand-crafted by several master artisans. The legendary Marla painstakingly wrapped the attractive ribbon around a base of post-consumer, recycled, straw formed in a ring for the traditional wreath shape. The groupings of the themed faces of jesters was then affixed by melting a glue-like substance and using a pressure-method to bond the shapes to the form. The mask was custom-selected for this project by Matt, reputed art lover and craftsman, and sits at a considerable angle on the wreath form in order to be aesthetically-pleasing. The three strands of gold, purple, and green beads are the traditional "throws" from a float in a Mardi Gras parade and are the primary support for a king's crown. The crown was contributed to the project through the support of Marla. At the bottom of the form is a representation of a saxophone which signifies the primary city associate with the MG, New Orleans. No, NOLA is not the birthplace of Mardi Gras, but it might as well be.

So here it is:

I know, you are wildly jealous and want one for yourself. Sorry folks, this masterpiece is one of a kind and not for sale.

Perhaps, if you are very talented and able to go to Hobby Lobby, you can make a similar one for your own door.