PB FOUND, UNHARMED BUT CONFUSED

NEWS! NEWS! The missing peanut butter has been found. Late yesterday afternoon searches located said peanut butter after hours of desperate looking. The jar was found in the spice cabinet among the powdered garlic and baking soda. When asked how it came to be there, the jar commented that he was unable to remember anything before being rescued. Physicians we contacted said that short-term memory loss was common with accident victims and they are hopeful that PB will soon regain his memory. Loved ones are thankful to all those who were involved in the search and just want things to go back to the way they were before this awful incident occurred. We'll keep our faithful readers updated with PB's recovery process and the continued efforts to determine how he came to be so far from home.