Today, 13.1 miles. Tomorrow, the world!

Ah, the long awaited half-marathon is over. Though I've never been in so much constant pain in my life, I feel accomplished and am glad that I did it. I will probably do more, but I'm hanging up my running shoes for at least a week. I hurt. I have some pictures because Matt went with me and did what he could to surprise me at several locations that I wasn't expecting to see him. I'm really glad he got to come down, I don't think I could have driven myself back to BR.

During the run, I amused myself by coming up with Facebook status updates. And one-liners without the pesky "Tara Jordan is" at the beginning. I wanted to share some of them.

1. Tara Jordan is an idiot for thinking she could run 13 miles in one go.

2. Tara Jordan might have died between miles 4 and 5.

3. Tara Jordan certainly died between mile 9 and 10.

4. Second winds are useful. Wonder if I'll ever get one.

5. Tara Jordan couldn't have made it without her handy sunglasses.

6. Men shouldn't be allowed to wear spandex. Ever.

7. Out of all the things that I could have forgotten, the anti-chaffing balm was the worse. I could have done without the extra bobby pins.

8. I have got to buy some new running shoes.

9. New Orleans is suprisingly busy for 8 o'clock on a Saturday morning.

10. 3 miles per hour is the perfect speed to really see St. Charles Avenue.

11. Tara Jordan doesn't like orange-flavored things. Only orange-flavored oranges. Makes sense.

12. Hal Higdon told me that adrenaline would get me through the last mile. Hal Higdon lied.

13. Girl: Man, y'all look worn out already. There are still four miles to go! Me (in my head): Girl, please. True story.

14. Tara Jordan is glad she didn't dress like a devil for Halloween like every other girl out here. That tail seems like it'd be annoying.

15. Tara Jordan is thankful for her Ipod, but has way too much Taylor Swift on it.

16. Tara Jordan wants to be a professional cheerer when she grows up. Cheering makes everyone happy.

17. New Orleans always smells bad.

18. Post-run Blue Bell Fudge Bars almost made it worth it.

19. Stretching is going to be my new best friend.

20. Tara Jordan still has energy to dance to "All I do is win" even when she can barely move.

And, as promised, PICTURES!

Don't let the smile fool you, I wasn't excited. I did, however, whiten my teeth the day before and wanted to show them off. That was all.

Depicted here is what I like to call "the running wait." It is where slow(er) runners, like me, line up towards the end of the line and then wait until the fast(er) runners get out of the way. We have to wait to run. See, I am logical.

Here is one of those surprised shots that I mentioned above. I was surprised to see Matt and he took a picture of me. Again, quite logical. Notice the calf muscle. Sick.

When I run "races" I like to sprint at the end. Notice the long stride. That was just past the 13 mile marker. I ran like all get out for .1 mile. That felt nice. I like being able to stretch my legs, jogging is so restrictive.



See that finisher's medal? I promise that I didn't steal it. Also notice that my race bib was crooked. On purpose. I have to wear my lucky pink shirt and a crooked bib number. I have to. Otherwise I die.

It may be hard to read, but it this is a screen shot of the results page. I was the 1,728th person to cross the finish line. No, I wasn't last. So there.

Alright guys, I'm going to go cut off the bottom half of my body. Catch y'all later. I'll run on my hands.

Things that make me smile

1. Fall, but we've already established that.

2. wearing long sleeve shirts and shorts. With flip flops.

3. Dancing in my seat during class.

4. Going shopping before class. I may have found some great sales today.

5. Smiling. I know, it is circular.

6. The idea of pirates. I don't think I'd care for real pirates very much. I don't even like Johnny Depp.

7. Meeting my water drinking goal.

8. Dress-up clothes for kids. One day, far far away, my kid is going to be dressed adorably. All the time.

9. PUPPIES!!

10. Matt, but that's a given. I couldn't leave him off the list though.

11. Old pictures of people that I know.

12. Sunglasses. All the time. I'd walk around with my eyes closed if I didn't have them. Sometimes I wear them at night. I wish it was socially acceptable to wear them indoors.

13. The number 13.

14. Giraffes. And hippos. I know, completely opposite. I like diversity.

15. Loud sneezes. Not by me though, that's embarrassing.

16. Catching mistakes before they happen.

17. Dr. Pepper. Oh how I miss thee.

18. Things that are monogrammed. Well, embroidery in general. Again, I'm all about diversity.

19. The idea of buying a new computer. Another one of those far into the future things.

20. Even numbers!!

Hello, my name is Tara and I am a judger.

Though the title probably failed, I wanted to convey a similarity between the upcoming post and the greeting at Alcoholics Anonymous. Not that I know from personal experience, I've just seen a lot of movies. Today was a day of self-realization. I am a judger. In other words, I judge people. Before I get to know them. If people were books, I'd be judging them by their covers. Too cliche'? I know, I'm just all sorts of fail today. That's okay though, I've accepted it. Also, I baked a flourless chocolate cake. Trust me, that cake, more like a torte, makes everything better. Even failure.

Here's the recipe: http://www.pillsbury.com/recipes/chocolate-glazed-fudge-cake/bfb2a9aa-7dc5-4587-97d9-f2174b7ae35f/
- note, if you decide to try this, remember to temper the eggs before adding all of them to the melted chocolate and butter mixture. The directions don't say to do that, but you should. Again, trust me.

But back to the point. For the past couple weeks I've been preparing for a disciplinary hearing of a fellow law student for which I, along with three professors and one other student, had to decide if he was guilty and if so, the proper punishment (most likely expulsion). I reviewed pages and pages of letters, applications, and written statements. From this study, I painted a picture of, for lack of a better word, the defendant. In my mind, he basically looked like an chaos-spreading ogre who barely deserved to live in a cage-free environment, much less be in law school. The hearing was today and last night I barely slept because I was so nervous about the hearing. I mean, I was just a few hours away from ruining this ogre's life. After my first class today, I decided to look back over the documents again before the hearing. I did, intensively. Though I had read them before, this time, I looked for something different. Both sides of the story.

After three hours and my ten-pages of my own notes (not to mention highlighting, it is basically a habit now. I can't read anything serious without a highlighter.), my mental picture got a little less menacing. In fact, I was starting to think that this kid was more like an unruly pigmy goat (you know, the ones that faint) than an ogre. After finishing my review of the evidence, if you will, I was even more nervous than before. I was doubting my original thoughts. For me, this is bad. Doubting usually gets me wrong answers, missed parking spaces, and references to a certain Biblical character. I'm pretty certain that I was more nervous than the ogre/goat before the hearing. Once it started and the witnesses and defendant gave their testimonies and our questions were answered, I realized that my original thoughts weren't just a little wrong, they were a lot wrong. I took the information compiled by a very scared goat and turned him into an ogre. I judged him before I heard his side. I tried him, convicted him, and hung him before he opened his mouth. I shouldn't have done that. I can't say that I won't do it again. I don't always succeed (see opening paragraph), but I'm going to try to listen more and make decisions only after hearing as many sides as possible. I'm going to try. Granted, the goat wasn't exactly an lamb; maybe a crossbreed of goat and ogre. Like an ogregoat or goatogre. Either way. It is a good thing for him that I'm on the Ethics Committee and not on the Admissions Committee. But that's beside the point.

Also beside the point, leggings with a short shirt still merit harsh judgment. It is never a good idea. Ever.

Oh Autumn, my old friend.

Guess what guys. Today is October 12. Yep, twenty days past the first day of Fall 2010 (for you law students, that marks September 22 as the date - see, I'm considerate like that, I know that not all of us have an aptitude for mathematics) and it is a cool 85 degrees outside. Please note, 85 degrees is not cool. Heck, it isn't even all that comfortable out there except in the shade. I know, that is just how Louisiana is around now. I know that and I have accepted it. Personally, I like to wear flip flops for as long as possible. However, I also like Autumn. Who doesn't?


Nobody.


Everyone likes Fall. Football. Short, nippy wind. Leaves crunching on the ground, flying through the air. Hot beverages like hot chocolate, hot tea, and apple cider. Yum. Chili. Gumbo. Jeans. Cardigans.

Oh but wait. Not all of those things fit with Fall. It is 85 stinking degrees outside. Jeans are too hot. Cardigans are only useful indoors, and the only good hot drink is one with ice in it.

Know what can make everything better? I do. I bought one the other day. It is a..... candle.






That's right. A candle. The name? Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin. The place? Bath and Body Works. The cost? $10 each when you buy two. Sixty hours of happiness? Priceless.

Turned off by the element of pumpkin? Me too. I hate, excuse me, I seriously dislike pumpkins. Scratch that. I seriously dislike pumpkins that smell like pumpkins. I seriously dislike the taste of pumpkins. I seriously dislike the ickiness that is inside a pumpkin. However, the excellent thing about this pumpkin candle is that the only way it resembles a pumpkin is by the picture on the front and the toasty orange color of the wax. Instead, think of cinnamon and apple cider simmering on the stove, perfuming the air with rich tendrils of Autumn. Oddly enough, BBW offers an apple cider candle, but isn't as fragrant as this candle.

So if you are longing for a change of season, go out and buy one (or two) of these candles. When you get home, lower the temperature on your thermostat, light the candle, make some hot chocolate, get a blanket, and curl up with a book (law students, preferably a Successions treatise). You'll be in Heaven*. Well, not really, but you'll be pretty darn close to Heaven. And it only costs you $20**.

* denotes that the Heaven indicated in this blog is unrelated to the adolescent game commonly called "seven minutes in Heaven" and played at boy/girl parties. Instead, the indicated Heaven refers to a Biblical place that is entered into upon death (unless you're Catholic, then it may be awhile).

** denotes the price of the purchase of TWO of the large candles for sale at Bath and Body Works. The purchase of ONE such candle can be made for $19.50. Neither price includes local or state taxes.

My first 15K.

Yesterday I (sort of) ran 9.3 miles. It Europe, that equates to 15 kilometers. I like to say 15K because it sounds farther and more impressive. I say it in my head like that too. Point. What was it again? Oh, I remember. I ran this one alone. Granted, there were about 200 other runners there too, but it was the first run that I did not have a friend with me. The first one was with Marla, the second with Matt, Bill, and Elena. I have to admit, I was pretty lonely by myself. Though the half-marathon was supposed to be a family affair, a series of events caused Nick and Marla to change their plans. For some reason, training for a half-marathon takes time and some serious conditioning. I don't know why.

Anyway, back to the point. Towards the end of the 15K (see what I did there?), a couple of older ladies came up even with me. I was tired. I was coughing. I slowed to a walk. The ladies weren't having any of it. Instead, they told me that I had better not let a couple of old ladies beat me. To be honest, I didn't care if I came in last. At that point, I just wanted to be done. So they would stop teasing me, I kept running. Plodding along with my leg muscles burning, I kept at it. The ladies talked constantly. They hollered out encouragement and talked about what they were going to eat when they got to the finish line. For me, after I run I don't even want to think about food. I just want water. Cold, cold water. Their food talk made me want to gag. With about a half a mile left I decided that vomiting was the last thing I needed to do so I sped up. The ladies were so excited about that, they hollered and whistled at me. I kind of felt like a well-performing horse. Well, a cow really after all my plodding. But farm animals aside, I crossed the finish line in 1:48:23. I was so so excited. My goal was to finish in under two hours and I did it. My goal for the half is under 3 hours. My finish time in the 15K was right on track. Now, I just have to run more, walk less, and get a few more miles under my belt and I'll be ready. I'm almost there. No really, it is 27 days away. Between now and then, I have to 243 miles to travel. Nope Judith, I'm not following ole Hal's plan. I call this one "Tara's Big Running Program." The subtitle is "So I won't die." I'm looking forward to it.