Today, 13.1 miles. Tomorrow, the world!

Ah, the long awaited half-marathon is over. Though I've never been in so much constant pain in my life, I feel accomplished and am glad that I did it. I will probably do more, but I'm hanging up my running shoes for at least a week. I hurt. I have some pictures because Matt went with me and did what he could to surprise me at several locations that I wasn't expecting to see him. I'm really glad he got to come down, I don't think I could have driven myself back to BR.

During the run, I amused myself by coming up with Facebook status updates. And one-liners without the pesky "Tara Jordan is" at the beginning. I wanted to share some of them.

1. Tara Jordan is an idiot for thinking she could run 13 miles in one go.

2. Tara Jordan might have died between miles 4 and 5.

3. Tara Jordan certainly died between mile 9 and 10.

4. Second winds are useful. Wonder if I'll ever get one.

5. Tara Jordan couldn't have made it without her handy sunglasses.

6. Men shouldn't be allowed to wear spandex. Ever.

7. Out of all the things that I could have forgotten, the anti-chaffing balm was the worse. I could have done without the extra bobby pins.

8. I have got to buy some new running shoes.

9. New Orleans is suprisingly busy for 8 o'clock on a Saturday morning.

10. 3 miles per hour is the perfect speed to really see St. Charles Avenue.

11. Tara Jordan doesn't like orange-flavored things. Only orange-flavored oranges. Makes sense.

12. Hal Higdon told me that adrenaline would get me through the last mile. Hal Higdon lied.

13. Girl: Man, y'all look worn out already. There are still four miles to go! Me (in my head): Girl, please. True story.

14. Tara Jordan is glad she didn't dress like a devil for Halloween like every other girl out here. That tail seems like it'd be annoying.

15. Tara Jordan is thankful for her Ipod, but has way too much Taylor Swift on it.

16. Tara Jordan wants to be a professional cheerer when she grows up. Cheering makes everyone happy.

17. New Orleans always smells bad.

18. Post-run Blue Bell Fudge Bars almost made it worth it.

19. Stretching is going to be my new best friend.

20. Tara Jordan still has energy to dance to "All I do is win" even when she can barely move.

And, as promised, PICTURES!

Don't let the smile fool you, I wasn't excited. I did, however, whiten my teeth the day before and wanted to show them off. That was all.

Depicted here is what I like to call "the running wait." It is where slow(er) runners, like me, line up towards the end of the line and then wait until the fast(er) runners get out of the way. We have to wait to run. See, I am logical.

Here is one of those surprised shots that I mentioned above. I was surprised to see Matt and he took a picture of me. Again, quite logical. Notice the calf muscle. Sick.

When I run "races" I like to sprint at the end. Notice the long stride. That was just past the 13 mile marker. I ran like all get out for .1 mile. That felt nice. I like being able to stretch my legs, jogging is so restrictive.



See that finisher's medal? I promise that I didn't steal it. Also notice that my race bib was crooked. On purpose. I have to wear my lucky pink shirt and a crooked bib number. I have to. Otherwise I die.

It may be hard to read, but it this is a screen shot of the results page. I was the 1,728th person to cross the finish line. No, I wasn't last. So there.

Alright guys, I'm going to go cut off the bottom half of my body. Catch y'all later. I'll run on my hands.