You know how sometimes life just stinks? Sometimes things just don't go as planned or you didn't have a plan and should have. I had a plan for our first pregnancy. Granted, our timeline was moved up a bit after one too many confrontations with mortality, but still, we had a plan. You know what they say about plans though, right? Yeah.
This pregnancy hasn't been smooth sailing. In fact, it has been hard. I haven't loved being pregnant. I feel guilty just thinking that, but it is true. I am thankful every day that we were able to conceive quickly and that there haven't been any problems with the baby's development or my um, gestational habitat. Let me tell you, nine months of morning sickness is hard. It would have been impossible in a regular workplace. We don't have carpet in our house. At first, I thought that was a bad thing but lemme tell you, we'd have to replace every inch of it had we had carpet.
Anyway.
The latest hardship has certainly been the gestational diabetes. At first, the guilt and the fear. Guilt that I had done something wrong. That I hadn't been eating well, or exercising enough, or thinking enough happy thoughts. Fear that I would need a c-section, that I would have real diabetes after having the baby, and fear that our baby would be born with blood sugar problems. After lots and lots of talking, listening, whining, reading, and thinking, I know that the guilt was misplaced. It wasn't my fault. Yes, I could have been healthier when we got pregnant but there is no guarantee that the GD wouldn't have presented itself. After all, I did pretty much give up sweets about three months in since it would aggravate the morning sickness. I still have some fear. Right now, it looks like a c-section won't be necessary. If I lose the baby weight plus about ten pounds, I'm less likely to end up with diabetes. I will have to commit to an exercise program and healthy eating habits but frankly, I need to do that anyway. After exercising for at least an hour every day for the past three months, I think I can swing a 4 or 5 day a week exercise program. As far as potential problems for Thomas, I can't do a thing more about that now. I'm eating with my plan. I'm exercising. I plan to breastfeed. We'll just have to wait and see. And know that if problems do arise, it isn't the end of the world. We'll adjust and adapt. Plans are made to be tweaked, right?
Listen -- I know people who do everything "right" (and "right" is such a debatable word -- what is right for one person isn't right for another) and their kids still have problems. Heck, Alice went to NICU and I did everything "right" (in my book at least, though I know some people probably were shocked that I ran through my pregnancy). Here's the most right thing you CAN do though: love on that baby. Do what you can for him, for you, and for your marriage. Do what works for your family. And take my dr's advice ;-) "Sing to your bebe. Pray for your bebe. Dance with your bebe. Talk to your bebe." Love my sweet ped!
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